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Newsflash |
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"Regarding the terrorist bomb attacks: seeing as those murderous lunatics have no compunction in taking their own lives along with the lives of the citizens of this country in the pursuit of their twisted ideology, I am sure none of us would mind reinstating the death penalty and reserving it for these disgusting thugs"
Thanks to D Turner, who tells the Arab doctors where to hang in a textletter headlined EXECUTE BOMBERS (for wasting a perfectly good SUV). The London paper published this.
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Written by Beaumont Fiskle
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Tuesday, 12 June 2007 |
"Never take a mini-break in Europe with children," said my old academic friend Adolph McGroot, now teaching the gospel at Lynchburg in Virginia. I couldn't have put it better myself.
He was referring to the parents of ‘Maddy' McCann, the young 6-year-old child missing somewhere on planet earth. It seems they may have taken Ady's words a little too literally last month, not only losing one of their brood because they were too hungry to wait for a meal to be delivered to their apartment, but then embarking on an extensive European tour drumming up interest and awareness about the lost girl without their remaining twin children. The nouveau riche have a skewed sense of morality.
Kate and Gerry, the girl's unfortunate parents (tests show hardly anyone remembers their names), then downsized the kidhunt to allow time for grieving. Well they didn't let us know, their press team did. Sorry guys, but when your kid's been snatched the sobbing usually comes automatically and uncontrollably for most of us.
When I look at my children I do so through a screen - just in case. For if anything is to be learnt by the common man (not so much the mothers but they should still wear large safety gloves when handling the kids) from this latest chapter in the paedo tomb, it is this: who knows what's out there?
If little Maddy had fallen to her death in the sea or through a concealed engineering duct, we would all be breathing sighs of relief and we could return to our normal lives. But the lack of evidence has produced a deficit of closure and a veritable 'Maddython' of shared misery, intrusion and ignorance of due process. Our normal lives are gone - taken from us by that same monster who has probably taken that poor child to Morocco or some other hellish pit of amoral degradation that I wouldn't visit if you paid me.
No longer can we walk down the road without seeing this Madeleine's pitiable face looking out at us from the front windows of many responsible houses. I applaud those homeowners who have worn ribbons, erected shrines, stuck up appeals and stared suspiciously at strangers since our Maddy went missing. If I had the keys to the Treasury, I would pay them to carry on doing their work, which is vital to the safe return of our girl.
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Written by Maqtista
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Sunday, 10 June 2007 |
De facto UK Prime Minister Gordon Brown recently embarked on a hearts and minds campaign, saying that Labour can win back thousands of people to the party because Blair is going. One tiny problem in the analysis: the main reason they all hate Tony Blair - the coalition occupation of Iraq - hasn't gone away. Indeed, all the indications are those disaffected Labour voters will fail to re-engage because Gordon will prolong the British mandate, "until the job is done" in Bushspeak.
So in Britain even more than the US there are precious few signs of policy change towards Iraq. A Brown cabinet will still be stuffed full of a replica set of yes-wonks, the left-wing backbench far away from the whips and influence. Cameron, for all his obsession about winning votes by any means test necessary, won't betray the Conservative party line on this one either.
The US has been talking about getting a special human in to take charge of both the Afghan and Iraq control rooms, but no-one wants to take the job with a change of regime and party imminent (not that there would be much policy shift by party change, again). Talk has been aired of shifting the job to the UN, but again these are mere hints.
The Shia round up and kill Sunni suspects; the latter respond with market bombs, in addition to their rising attacks on the coalition. Unable to make headway against the Shiite shites, with figureheads like Al-Sadr experienced at manoeuvring around unseen after oppression from the Saddamite, and ex-Baath psychopaths, the coalition is locked into a costly game of status quo. Defence experts throughout the Western alliance fear the break-up of Iraq into the Shia south, Sunni centre and west and Kurdish north, but this is a pointless view (not quite on the same denial as "Iraq is not at civil war" but close) when it's clear to anyone that this fracturing has already happened, and on a much more decreasing scale than a tripartite division. It is even beyond cantonisation. Power bases have been established in all the major cities and across the provinces, they themselves have to stave off local competition for control of local government or ministerial branches, and few resources are making it into the central pocket. Both Shia and Kurdish groups in control of the oil fields are fighting hard to keep a large degree of federal control of the petrodollars, so Baghdad is no closer to tying up the all-important hydrocarbons law. The coalition military command are so loathed in Maysan that ‘insurgents' are trying to grow opium in the arid desert.
If the first error of the post-Saddam Iraq was to de-Baathify Iraq, the physical slate too clean enough to build scores of military bases, what has since been allowed to develop is down to the slavish adherence to ‘maintaining security', in the process ignoring aspects like the creation of a civil society and basics like power supply. Both fundamental mistakes have created a heightened form of capitalism based on racketeering that will probably take longer to rein in than the Sunni resistance (again, occupation-created) and the Shia revenge squads themselves. No matter how many troop surges you have it won't be enough to control the Sunni triangle, the Sadrists, the Shia death squads in blue Interior Ministry clobber, the drug gangs. In Basra and elsewhere in the south, oil is controlled and distributed without recourse to what their Shia brothers are saying in the Green Zone. The UK army are just one faction with guns, occasionally gaining control of a situation around the south, mostly staying impotent in the barracks unless the cameras are there. Prince Harry would have been well safe.
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Mitchell & Webb look quaint to US PC moguls |
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Written by Tock mantrum
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Thursday, 07 June 2007 |
Microsoft's Gates and Apple's Big Jobs were interviewed by two techy bloggers on stage a few weeks ago. During the course of their back-slapping the Microtoss Pista man and Apple's Big Jobs mentioned the little Brit comics who star in the Apple adverts, Robert Webb as Mac and David Mitchell as PC
Interviewer I: Although you know what? I have to confess, I like PC guy.
Interviewer I: Yeah, he's great.
Interviewer I: Yeah, I like him. The young guy, I want to pop him.
Jobs: The art of those commercials is not to be mean, but it's actually for the guys to like each other. Thanks. PC guy is great. Got a big heart.
Gates: His mother loves him.
Jobs: His mother loves him.
Interviewer I: I'm telling you, I like PC guy totally much better.
Jobs: Wow.
Interviewer I: I do. I don't know why. He's endearing. The other guy's a jackass.
Jobs: PC guy's what makes it all work, actually.
Us: They're, like, totally assimilated now. They keep coming with tedious sketch shows, the nth series of Peepshow (with less peep) and star as magicians in films that you won't see in America. The last series had its moments, and in that manifestation of their partnership there's still a future for them, albeit as the standard bearers of pathetic Brit Man. If that's what they want. And they probably do want, for a fee.
Gates: Duh, figures.
Us: Indeed Bill, they can be seen as the paradigm of the careerist comedians - corporealists who, though not without occasional flashes of an interesting worldview and something other to offer than the usual wretched entertainment, say to themselves: 'We're on the ladder now. i quite like the ladder. I'm going to cling on for good even though my hands will really hurt, because each rung I reach seems to offer me cashmoney. And imperial wars and McDonalds adverts are all good. Thanks.'
Jobs: Shame, really.Write Comment (611 Comments) |
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Last Updated ( Thursday, 07 June 2007 )
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Written by Nao Luz
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Saturday, 26 May 2007 |
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In the last article, we had presented the hijacked tragedy as an exceptional news item, but according to the Sun the toffee girl snatch is not an isolated incidont but tied in with the great issue of our time - it was the Arabs wot done it, possibly.
The Sun snakes its way to the conclusion it would like us all to reach before any official reaction (well they're just bluddee incompetent aren't they?). Under the picture of the 'Maddy look alike' Carolina becomes Caroline - out of respect to Maddy (who, Darren Maddy, the Leicestershire cricketer? Did he snatch her in a bid to revive his ailing strokeplay? It makes me sick. He should be strung up. Even if he didn't have anything to do with it. Better to be safe than sorry) |
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Written by Muzlan
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Tuesday, 22 May 2007 |
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Update: Better late than never but only Indy readers and Znetters would have accessed one of the few bits of substantive comment.
it's Arab hammer time again. The Israel Defence Force and the Lebanese Army are pounding Gaza Hamas targets and refugee camp 'Fatah al-Honest' targets in north Leb. In both cases, the convention not to enter these zones means indiscriminate bombing of those civvies is the appropriate response, and of course creates a space to allow excessive incursion when enough violent resistance has been generated. Ratcheting up of permanent conflict? Welcome back to the Middle East, Portugal kiddy snatch watchers. Of course, there have always been several tracks to the Middle East problem, capable of generating a similar amount of myths of perception: Syrian involvement corrupts Lebanese affairs; Israeli goading and encouraging Phalangist phucks and the Sunni does not. Similar to: Iranian fighting UK/US in Iraq; four years of military presence in Iraq of UK/US has only ever been to establish democracy.
Take that hyperlinked example from the Boston, Mass rag: Conjecture and innuendo presented as fact that is contradicted later in the same article, pointing out that the group’s leader links to the Syrian state are absolute Ed Balls - if anything he is on the run from them. Fair and balanced journalism: it gives the reader/listener the opportunity to be selective about which bits they wish to acknowledge. Total info jerk-off. Either way, Al-Absi is manna from an extremist Judaeo-Christian heaven (featuring St Peter on Uzi and Moses on cluster bombs).
Last year's Israeli assault on the south, sorry all, of Lebanon because Israel misjudged the need for a regional contretemps (there's always offs in the territories) provides obvious context here, with the more deluded end of the Hamas PR machine saying ‘if Israel escalate it any further then we'll happily do the same as Hezbollah last year'. It's astonishing that the conflict last summer has been broadly portrayed as an Israeli defeat. Because they don't now occupy southern Lebanon? Because they had some soldiers killed in military action? Because rockets are still being fired into Israel? Write Comment (3850 Comments) |
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Last Updated ( Saturday, 26 May 2007 )
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A night smashing Sugar's head |
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Written by Alan Hardwaite
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Thursday, 10 May 2007 |
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BP CEO Lord Browne had resigned over lying in court about his homosexual affairs, I couldn't help laughing out loud, "You silly old ring fencer!" For the guttersnipes on Grub Street the monicker "Lord Browne" now offers muck-raking innuendo - but don't expect that angle from a writer of integrity like yours truly It's not just your Venables', Lord Browne was an icon for Jeremy too.  Whether Vegetables or ex BP CEO Browne will be there on Thursday 17 May at Corsica Studios in Elephant & Castle, for the film premiere screening of the documentary about McClintock's voice arising, we can't say. Cull will be though. |
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Last Updated ( Wednesday, 19 March 2008 )
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